Over twenty years of gardening without suffering a single disease in my own garden, has lead to compliancy. Unearned impudence has characterized my horticultural attitude. This week doubt, fear and apprehension struck. I noticed signs of disease on most of my plants.
Experiencing total panic is not new to me. On a routine visit to have a mammogram, I imagine only bad news. I tried hiding under the covers, instead of facing the facts: could it be true that plants, I had nurtured over many years, might be gone? I felt a need for grief counseling.
I reached out to friends first. No one could provide a precise diagnosis. Everyone asked good questions. A seasoned gardener and friend suggested contacting my local extension service. I am still waiting for a response.
I’ve been consumed by emotions that are common when someone loses a loved one. I realize this is an incredible exaggeration. Making gardens does have similarities to managing a relationship. The loss of a garden can mimic the demise of a relationship. Following the counsel of psychologist, Dr. Robert Neimeyer “closure is for bank accounts,” I am still holding on, fighting off depression, remembering its not over until its over.